7 Expert Tips to Help Your Spouse Combat Depression

Living with depression isn't easy and supporting a loved one with depression can be an incredibly difficult thing to do. Depression can make everyday tasks hard, and you may be wondering how you can best support your spouse. While there's no simple answer to this question, there are some specific steps you can take to support your spouse. We enlisted the help of the experts here at Talkiatry to help you understand what you can do to support your spouse with depression, and also to practice some self care yourself. 

1. Educate yourself about depression

Understanding what your spouse is going through is one of the best things you can do to help them. Becoming familiar with the symptoms and effects of depression, such as changes in sleeping patterns, feelings of numbness or worthlessness, changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy will help you better understand what’s happening. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to provide support. 

2. Listen and show empathy

When it comes to supporting someone with depression, listening and showing empathy can go a long way. Depression can often feel very isolating, and your spouse may not know how to ask for help. Listen to what they have to say and don’t interrupt or give unsolicited advice. Make them feel heard and don’t judge their feelings or tell them that what they’re feeling isn’t valid. This is the most important thing you can do for them. Try to place yourself in their shoes and practice empathy. Remember, depression is not something they are choosing to experience, and putting pressure on your spouse to simply "snap out of it" or "get over it" is not helpful. 

3. Offer practical support

Depression can often affect your ability to carry out daily tasks. Offer practical support where you can. This may mean taking on more housework, grocery shopping, or cooking meals. Taking some of the mundane daily tasks off their plate can help relieve some pressure while they work through their depression. However, it’s also important to know that your spouse is on their own journey to healing. Don’t enable your spouse’s depression: too much support can reinforce depressive behaviors and remove any incentive to get help. Do some research on how to strike the right balance between supporting your spouse while also encouraging them to make the healthy choices. 

4. Be Patient

Recovery from depression can take time. Be patient and try to remember that healing isn’t linear. Your spouse will have good days and bad days. Some moments they may seem completely back to their old selves while other moments they may be back at rock bottom. Try to be patient through the ups and downs. 

5. Encourage your spouse to seek professional treatment

Recovery from depression is possible with the right support, including professional treatment. Encouraging your spouse to reach out to a mental health professional is important. Depression is treatable when the appropriate care is accessed: most people will see an improvement in their mood after beginning treatment. Psychiatrists, therapists, and primary care physicians are all able to provide or refer to appropriate care, and can assess what treatments, including medications or therapy, are right for your spouse. 

6. Be aware of warning signs for suicide

If you notice warning signs of suicidal thoughts in your spouse, it is important to take them seriously. These include: becoming withdrawn, expressing hopelessness, giving away possessions, saying goodbye or settling affairs, or talking about ending their life. If you notice these signs, contact a mental health professional or a crisis hotline immediately. Remember, you are not a therapist and cannot provide the level of care required to treat serious mental illness. The best thing you can do for your partner is to get them the help they need. If your partner is in immediate danger, call emergency services. 

7. Practice self-care and seek support for yourself too

Taking care of a spouse with depression can be exhausting. It can be easy to neglect your own needs while focusing on your spouse’s. Make sure that you're getting the sleep you need, eating right, and spending time with friends and family. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your spouse.

About Talkiatry

Talkiatry is a national psychiatry practice that provides in-network, virtual care. Co-founded by a patient and a triple-board-certified psychiatrist, Talkiatry has over 800 doctors, 100 insurance partners, and first visits available in days. We treat patients with anxiety, depression, trauma, ADHD, and more. Get started with a short online assessment. 

The information in this article is for informational and educational purposes only and should never be substituted for medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. If you or someone you know may be in danger, call 911 or the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 right away.