Why can’t I control my impulses?

Everyone makes rash decisions sometimes, whether to shake off a bad mood, out of anger or frustration, or simply for spontaneous fun. But for some people, impulsive behavior can be more extreme than a dramatic haircut or occasionally snapping at your partner.

If you constantly act without thinking things through, you can try a range of techniques to calm your impulsive decision-making. But if your behavior starts affecting your work or relationships, it may be time to seek professional help.

What do people mean by impulsive behavior?

Impulsive behavior is acting quickly without thinking about the consequences, and there are different levels of impulsivity.  

The American Psychological Association defines impulsiveness as “behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences of an action, particularly one that involves taking risks.”

Impulsive people may have a thought or a desire to do something, and then quickly act on a whim to do it. Sometimes this behavior is harmless. However, other times it can be destructive or even dangerous.

For some people, impulsivity might mean taking a spontaneous trip, making spur-of-the-moment purchases, or making sudden, big life decisions. Impulsivity can also include more dangerous or aggressive behaviors, like stealing, sudden violence, or participating in risky sexual behaviors.

Some impulsive behaviors may be smaller in scale, like blurting out your thoughts, lying, or constantly interrupting others. Although not as destructive, these behaviors can still negatively affect your life, work, and relationships.

What causes impulsive behavior?

Many factors play a role in the development of impulsiveness. Often, the behavior is due to a combination of these factors, including:

Genetics

Some research suggests that impulsivity is genetically inherited. So, if you have parents or other family members who struggle with impulsive behaviors, the chances may be higher that you will, too. Several genes have been identified that may cause a predisposition for impulsive behavior and less self-control. These genes are linked to how your neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) work.

Environmental factors

Your environment can also be a risk factor for impulsivity. People with a history of trauma are more likely to engage in impulsive behavior due to changes in executive function (i.e. a set of mental skills that includes self-control). Because trauma can impede your ability to regulate your emotions effectively, you may become predisposed to act rashly, especially in emotional or stressful situations.

Mental health conditions

Impulsivity can be a symptom of a range of mental health conditions, including:

• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

• Bipolar disorder

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

• Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

• Antisocial personality disorder  

These conditions are linked to imbalances in levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, as well as executive dysfunction.

Other impulse control disorders

There are also certain impulse control disorders (ICDs) that may be to blame, including:

• Kleptomania

• Intermittent explosive disorder

• Pyromania

• Trichotillomania

• Conduct disorder

• Oppositional defiant disorder

Substance misuse

Alcohol and drug abuse can lead to increased risky behavior and impulsive actions, either during intoxication or during withdrawal, depending on the substance. Substances can affect your decision-making and lower your inhibitions, which is a dangerous combination. Plus, becoming dependent on a substance can also lead to a chronic pattern of impulsivity.

Can an impulsive person change?

Yes, an impulsive person can change. However, it isn’t always easy. It will take active effort and a genuine desire to make positive changes––in many cases, this involves professional mental health treatment, too. There isn't a guarantee of 100% you’ll never haveimpulsive behavior again, but you can significantly reduce your impulsivity with prevention strategies and professional help.  

Related article: Are you born with ADHD?

How to control impulsive behavior

There are several interventions that can be effective at curbing impulsive and risk-taking behavior. If you’re struggling with impulsivity, consider the following approaches:

Practice mindfulness  

This time-tested strategy helps sharpen self-awareness by encouraging you to focus your attention on the present moment and accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This technique helps you distance yourself from your urges and their triggers, which may allow you the space to decide to take a different course of action.  

Research shows that mindfulness, practiced regularly, creates changes in the brain, helping to build “non-reactivity.” Practicing how to recognize and name an urge before it comes is a useful technique. For example, "This is anger I am feeling, and it’s making me want to pick a fight with my spouse.” From there, you can work to identify other, healthier outlets for your urges.

Avoid situations that trigger impulses  

While it isn’t realistic to avoid all your triggers, you can reduce them. First, take inventory of what situations tend to trigger your impulsiveness. Is it being out drinking at a bar? Hanging out with certain people who might be bad influences? Next, try to minimize exposure to these situations. For example, if shopping online leads to impulsive purchases, limit your browsing time or set up barriers to immediate buying.

Avoid substance use  

Drugs and alcohol can impair your judgment, lower your inhibitions, and further increase the likelihood of acting on impulse. When you use these substances, you may have a greater chance of falling prey to impulsivity.  

Create alternate outlets for your impulsivity

If you pick fights with your spouse whenever you get irritated, commit to an exercise routine like boxing or running that helps you process your thoughts and release frustration. If you’re prone to interrupting during meetings, keep a pad and pen with you to write down your thoughts as they come. Experiment and find out what works best for you.

Biofeedback

Biofeedback is practiced with a professional, but the skills you use can be applied outside of the sessions. It helps you control impulsive behavior by providing real-time feedback on physiological signals such as heart rate. By using sensors to monitor these signals, you learn to recognize the physical signs of impulsivity and apply relaxation techniques to manage their responses. This builds increased self-awareness and confidence to calm down on your own, pausing and relaxing before acting.

Support groups

Depending on the cause of your impulsive behavior, you may find support groups for people with the same condition as you. These groups can help you feel less alone in your struggles, learn new coping skills, and gain motivation to change.

Ask for help

Use your support system. Commit to talking to a trusted friend, family member, or loved one before making any big decision. This gives you a chance to think through your choices and gain different perspectives. Ask for their honest advice. Your loved ones have your best interest in mind, and they can prevent you from making dangerous or harmful decisions.  

Of course, asking for professional help from a therapist or psychiatrist is always a good idea.

When should you get help for impulsive behavior?

The techniques outlined in this article can help you curb impulsive behaviors. However, depending on the cause of your impulsivity, you may need additional help. Impulsive behavior caused by an underlying mental health condition, a substance abuse problem, or unresolved trauma needs professional care and treatment.  

If your impulsive behavior is affecting your work, relationships, or everyday life, it may be time to seek out a psychiatrist. Additionally, if you experience other symptoms on top of your impulsivity, a mental health professional can help figure out the causes of these symptoms, including their link to your impulsive behavior.  

Treatment plan

Antidepressants, including SSRIs and SNRIs, can be effective at curbing impulsive behavior in people with certain underlying mental health conditions. Depending on your specific condition, your psychiatrist may also recommend other medications to treat your symptoms. Sometimes SSRIs and SNRIs are not the right medication and they may also recommend something else, including other supportive therapies, like talk therapy.

Generally led by a therapist, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that’s been demonstrated to have a positive effect on impulse control. This technique helps you understand the relationship between your thoughts and your behaviors, so you can re-route impulses in a healthier direction.  

If you’re looking for a psychiatrist to help you manage your impulsivity, consider Talkiatry. We’re a national psychiatry practice that treats a wide variety of mental health conditions. We provide virtual, in-network services so you can get the care you need from the comfort of your own home. To get started, complete our free online assessment to get matched with a psychiatrist.

FAQ

Here are more answers to your questions about impulsiveness.

How do you stop impulsive behavior?

Stopping impulsive behavior requires a genuine desire to change, and dedication to making these changes. Try strategies like avoiding triggers and substance use, finding alternate outlets, and seeking social support. This may also include seeking professional mental health help if the impulsiveness is due to a mental health condition.  Therapy and medication can make a big difference.

Does Impulsive behavior mean you have ADHD?

No, impulsive behavior does not mean you have ADHD. Although impulsivity is certainly a symptom of ADHD, it can also be a symptom or result of other conditions, environmental factors, genetics, or substance use.  

What is impulsive behavior a symptom of?

Impulsive behavior is a symptom of:  

• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

• Bipolar disorder

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

• Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

• Antisocial personality disorder

• Impulse control disorders (ICDs)  

Working with a mental health professional is the best way to determine the cause of your impulsivity. After getting a diagnosis, you can pursue treatment.

What’s the difference between impulsive and compulsive?

Impulsive means acting on a whim, spontaneously, without any forethought. Compulsive is typically linked to behaving to reduce anxiety or stress. You may feel like you have to perform the compulsive behavior.  

‍The information in this article is for informational and educational purposes only and should never be substituted for medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. If you or someone you know may be in danger, call 911 or the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 right away.